I know I know actually I NEVER KNOW

Freakkkkk.. sorry I ma a bit crazy right now. Have you ever stay inside a room for four days without going outside the world? That kind of feeling is damn so >.<#%^*^&^. See how undescripable. Even sound like torturing yourself. The city is in a low tune piece. Yet my room is surrounded by inhumanity people. They talk in the high pitch and laugh like mad. So, I got to join them? Or I refuse and force myself to sleep. For the second condition I try hard, the harder I try the deadly am I. As the more I force the louder they are or when I finally got the peace and smile back, they started again. Okay, since I am the minority so I keep my profile low.

Sometimes I mean during this four days I grow to be a bit patient. Why do I say so? Well, for the first day, I smash on the wall, pretty bad wall, cause sound proof. Suck, the door too. I think if I am not careful enough I can break the wall. When somebody pass by my room, I shout, SHUT UP! YOU ... but I do not think they understand human language. Alien guess so! They laugh at me.. maybe I am funny enough. Hpmh, ok ok bad though come, Shooo shooo.. ermm.. they are good for some, they wake up late for sometimes which I cherish that few hours which is totally absolute no sound. Haha. Traquility that you ever miss and lovely weather.

For some, about my previous blog, I said that I want to walk around. Hardly, cause I keep on stick on my room. I sleep, sleep and sleep, surf the net like zombies, play games like a maniac, just kind of yarn due to depression. Suddenly feel like a dog, a golden retriver who is locked in a room for 4 days, desperated to open the door but can't. [no fingers] who nearly die of hunger and dehydrated. Just the saliva which keep on cycle like a loop on Friday. Who cares! I live.

Another incident is I finally call back home. First time I think, nothing to do, just look at nothing and emptiness look back at me. Mama keep on telling me this and that and ask me how HOW HOW? Please, I do not know the answer. Phone to my sister, ... come let's get out of the room? Don't want. What you eat? Rubbish! Suddenly realise that it is better to keep me busy I like the feeling of being someone on purpose and never end purposes like a workaholic of the world. I am not stress but keep me free of stress I FEEL STRESS! haha.. Weird kind of person am I. I need work to keep though negative though away, though now I undergo feel depression but still not touching things like homiside, drugs or suicide. Stupid and foolish actions.

NOW I want to break the loop go out of it. I do not want to be the hamster. @@