When you are nobody but somebody...

If you are one of the fanatic of Tohoshinki, you may know that Max is the youngest in the groupie. As for me, I am also the youngest among the family. I cannot deny that being the youngest has no priviledge at all. Anyway the biggest hope also lies within.

Morning, peeping through the tan aluminnium frama, the wind gives me the hint that he comes and visiting me. Flirt with my emotion and leave me with soothe warmth. I am thinking. I actually think. Why I am still here? Everyone is moving. My concept and theory is dead. I always love to be the youngest, now no more. What are you still day dream of? Whack myself and wipe of my saliva. People grow. Me? I still cannot find a room to settle but still find with great effort. When you cannot find a room in this world. It may be tough for you. Nowadays, I guess I need to be more independant among my family. Being senpai of the young and future generation of my family and extended family. Though I still kind of mad that my family cares me less than before. Since the born of the new one. This is why I hate to be with young one.. especially though who looks innocent and yerns for more attention. Now, I got to change my childish and stubborn point of view! I need to grow. Can I?

Ash (fake name): Hey Karen, I guess you look better if you trim your front hair with straight fringe and DYE IT!

Me: No, I don't like to be cute and stupid. Anyway I love original BLACK!

Tom(fake name): Hey Karen, you look nicer if you keep your long hair.

Me: Well, may try it. See how it works!

Wait a minute, I change according to what people want me to be like? What am I doing. The reason is I tend to forget about myself but others. I don't like to be so, but I am. Suddenly feel like a barbie doll and even a clown in this world. What is the feeling when most of them and some of them who is important to you and you just start to grow trust on him or her recently ignored you?

And I change because of them and yern for their attention? Will I still be me? Or will be still be I.